Enjoying this book because it is packed with little gems, and because I’m devouring anything to do with relationships as I translate it all into psychodrama language and enrich my psychodramatic approach to couples.
Some snippets follow, managing to cut and paste them via sharing with Twitter – I hate that I can’t cut and past from Kindle.
â€œHoney, this isnâ€™t a big deal, but I was upset about the conversation at dinner. I need you to ask me about my day.â€ Her response might then be, â€œSorry, how was your day?â€
This is from John Gottman’s the Science of Trust. Note: Gottman’s example, good, but I prefer “want” there rather than need, following Marshall Rosenberg (see my post)
Regrettable incidents in interaction are simply par for the course. The goal is to be able to heal the emotional wounds created by those incidents.
Gottman reinforces the idea that it is not good communication we need so much as good ways of repair. Fits with psychodrama as a method, it is on the stage, separate from life. Social atom repair. Dialogues are like that – a means to repair.