Categories
Psyche Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships

What makes being in a couple different from being in other relationships?

A couple is truly a couple when the hitherto hidden dimensions of pain surface in the relationship. The couple may not see it, but there is an interconnected web of role relationships that involve projections and yearnings from childhood.  Thus a defining aspect of couplehood is:

  • Connections at a primal wounds

Of course there are other aspects of couplehood:

  • Love
  • Sexuality
  • Children
  • Intimacy
  • A wedding ceremony
  • Significance
  • Familiarity
  • Shared memories
  • Commitment
  • Domestic life
  • Social reality & recognition

Some of these will apply and some may not.

The crucial aspect of couplehood is an uncanny reciprocity of pain. Hedy Schleifer refers to the “deepest desires meeting the darkest resistance, and vice versa.”  This can appear like a disconnect, but it is the relationship doing its purposeful work, a profound connection.

Psychodrama refers to ‘the interpyche’ with an interplay of co-conscious and co-unconscious ways of being. Evocative and useful words. Imago relationship therapy has the word ‘imago’, a word meaning image, referring to the match of the unconscious dynamics involving the unmet needs from childhood, mixed with the love that was there.

One word for it: trouble!

Who wants it? Who knows how to get through this impasse when one person’s deep desires meet the other person’s fears? And vice versa. It gets harder as regression seeps in and our usual adult functioning goes out the window. I’d rather look at facebook or go for a walk.

There is another side to the story, trouble means opportunity. The ‘interpsyche’ is not so stupid!  This mystical third entity wove a web for us to climb through impasses. They are not impossible passes, we can get through, with help. And once through we continue the adventure with new vigour.

For the therapist it is easy! “Wow, you two are here, facing this trouble! Well done. This is normal, this is healthy, this is natural and right and you can work through this. Talk and listen. Listen with great care! Talk without blame. I’ll help you do it.”

Its is not so easy when you are in it. Love is blind, and so is trouble. Have a look at this feast of quotes about love: 90 Beautiful Love Quotes from Literature I wish there were as many beautiful quotes about the purpose of trouble as there are about the glorious magic of love.

 

Categories
Journal Psyber

Jottings

I’ve updated my writing page and moved it to https://www.walterlogeman.com/writing

Reflecting on my work – some of it going back to 1993.

I’m not so obsessed with the internet as I was in the 1990s. I still think the psyche is created through various creative acts such as naming, writing theorising and managing the medium. The psyche evolves. I’d be happy to call it culture, zeitgeist. I think this  creativity goes beyond cyberspace. Marx created a bunch of concepts that fit. We can invent fiction and we also invent non-fiction but it has to relate to the real, to fit, to resonate. to enable.

I learned about hyperstition today

Podcast Youtube 

The K-Files: Who’s Pulling Your Strings? featuring Amy Ireland

(I will watch this https://vimeo.com/ondemand/hyperstition/167803565)

Truth is Science is Fiction.
HYPERSTITION
a film by Christopher Roth
in collaboration with Armen Avanessian

More here:

https://www.full-stop.net/2020/10/21/features/essays/macon-holt/hyperstitional-theory-fiction.

Archetypes

Hermes rules the internet – he pulls the strings – but he can’t pull them all — but no one can.

And who rules the world? Mammon?

Who is the angel of history?

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Angelus_Novus

It’s like naming a theme in a group. I concretised a discussion by drawing a line on the stage. A fine line between moaning and denial. It resonated.

Does the Angelus Novus resonate with some sort of reality?

Is “relations of production” an angel? who is that entity pulling the strings?

The meaning of INTERSTITIAL is occurring in or being an interval or intervening space or segment : of, relating to, or forming an interstice.

interstition
An interstice or interstitium; an interstitial space. Middle English. Noun. interstition. an intervening period …

  • Hyperstition
  • Superstition
  • Interstition

I heard this in the K-Files podcast as well:

  • Inspire
  • Conspire

Materialism is a description of relationships

Categories
Art Digital Sketches

Oh, its nothing really

Oh, it’s nothing really.

 

Nothing is nothing, everything moves, everything changes, everything is something.

Categories
Journal Psychodrama

Walter & Kate Personal Development Psychodrama Group

Kate and I conducted a regular Thursday evening psychodrama group. We have created a free online group since the pandemic to ‘hold the space’. I sent out a reminder for the event at 4:00 today and I thought I’d put it here on the blog. Part of my ‘Journal’ and also, for those in Christchurch who might like to join.

Here is the email

Categories
Art

Four circles

Recent Sketches

 

Categories
Bush Journal Photos

Port Hills Plants

I’m collecting images of plants I’d like to grow!

I’ll figure our what they are later.  don’t they look great?

 

Categories
DRAMA

Delve

Categories
DRAMA

Take your time

Categories
Journal Psyber

Note taking

I am an avid Journaller.  This blog is my public Journal.  I’m  always wanting to improve the note taking process.

I’m now using Obsidian for private notes.  Here is a person who does that publicly, lovely

https://notes.nitinpai.in/Entries/Heaven+of+Freedom/How+do+we+achieve+Tagore’s+vision%3F#Colophon

Love it!

 

 

Categories
DRAMA

D R A M A

Recent posts are part of my work in progress on a book, D R A M A.  Maximal encouragers are instructions by the director to the actor.  They are paired with images .

See the poster version of pages in the book.

https://psyberspace.walterlogeman.com/category/art/drama/