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Role of the Therapist with Couples

There is a continuum with two extremes.

Its all in the dialogue between the couple
Education is the main focus.		 ____________________________________ Its all in the safety of the relationship with the therapist. The therapeutic relationship with each partner and the relationship is the main focus.

Of course it is both, I doubt anyone holds the extreme positions. However it is an interesting question as to when one of these aspects needs to be to the fore.

This discussion with Rick & Sherry Stolp addresses this question very well, among other things.

Click to play & downloadListen or download here

Rick Stolp website

 

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Later : Saturday, 6 October, 2012

I have further clarified that there are some criteria that indicate readiness for dialogue. The ability to move from adversarial positions is required for a dialogue. We do not want to foster something that is dialogical in form but adversarial in essence. As dialogues involve mirroring, the psychodrama principle that doubling comes before mirroring comes into play.

The therapist may be needed to double the couple for some time. Longer work is indicated for them to get to the dialogue stage.

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Later: Sunday, October 17, 2010

About 20 minutes into the audio they talk about research based on ideas of “Duncan & Miller” on outcome research. http://www.talkingcure.com.

They now have separate websites:

Scott D Miller
http://www.scottdmiller.com
http://www.centerforclinicalexcellence.com

Barry Duncan
http://www.heartandsoulofchange.com
http://www.whatsrightwithyou.com

I’ve made another post on Outcome research here.

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Simple & minimal

My car was stolen yesterday (Subaru Legacy wagon PM7910 in case you are in Christchurch, if you see it call the police). For all the pain there is a sense of freedom too. I might not get another car! Walk, bike and borrow (I don’t intend complete abstinence!).

Strangely, the feeling is similar to having just installed Readability in Firefox. What beautiful clean pages. I love reading on my PC. Maybe I don’t need an iPad after all. I put my laptop on my chest in bed today and read using the Readability, Kindle and Comical. There is something in my astrology pulling towards the simple & minimal.

I have been impressed by Roger Ebert’s item on “frisson”, a delightful and sensible contribution to the trollish “Google makes you stupid” discussions. Google makes us smart! Individually and as a species. What if Gregor Mendel talked to Charles Darwin? Ebert discusses his own experience of finding it hard to sit and read a whole book as in the old days. I know that experience! He has a plan to read again. Re-train the mind. Makes sense to me.

The planets continue to conspire. I read: Alain de Botton, On Distraction, Our minds need to go on a diet. I like it.

I’ve never been impressed by the idea of “Internet free days” or “email free days” as I am strong on using filters and readers to manage information, there is no overload. It takes a bit of work but the Net comes to me quite intelligently. It knows what I want. Not just email filters, search, an RSS reader but socially mediated information via mailing lists and twitter create a stream that tunes into me, like a very good friend.

The Alain de Botton item puts it in perspective. Fasting. A meditative approach. I could do that with food and with information! Far from being anti-food or anti-Internet I can see how fasting can enhance experience, sharpen my senses & taste.

I won’t make any resolutions though. Lets see what the planets have in store.

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More about Readability – an item by Rich Ziade

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Adequacy

This is a word used in psychodrama circles. Used to describe roles. They can be

  • absent
  • embryonic – is a word used on occasions
  • underdeveloped
  • overdeveloped
  • conflicted

or

  • adequate

Adequacy is in the psychodrama domain is the pinnacle of performance – there is nothing more needed. It is not faint praise, as if a schoolteacher looking at an essay using the word might use it to mean. I’ll pass it but only barely.

The word is also used in the definition of spontaneity.

“An adequate response to a new situation.”

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I am reflecting on this word that I have come to appreciate. I like the humble tone. The implicit belief that adequacy is enough. Adequacy echoes the idea in other modalities of “good enough”. The delight of “adequate” is that there is no more required. Adequacy is fitting, nothing more is needed now.

But what is adequate in a new situation? Crying, running, fighting… who arbitrates these things?

Theory does not make sense on its own. Psychodrama theory requires a psychodrama context. Roles occur on a stage, one of the five instruments: Stage, director, auxiliary egos, protagonist and audience.

In such a context there is a warm-up, an enactment and sharing.

The enactment and protagonist emerge from the group. In an enactment there is never one role. The purpose of the endeavour is already defined and explicit. A warm-up may include a purpose and a yearning. Obstacles will be in the consciousness of the group. Adequacy is part of an outcome created collectively, and shared by the group. Adequacy is measured by applause, boos and hisses, laughter and tears.

And of course there will be new discoveries and new developments. After all the situation we have just seen on the stage is now an old one, demanding a new response. And the next time we meet what was adequate last time may be just a step towards the new.

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