Categories
Psyche Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships

What makes being in a couple different from being in other relationships?

A couple is truly a couple when the hitherto hidden dimensions of pain surface in the relationship. The couple may not see it, but there is an interconnected web of role relationships that involve projections and yearnings from childhood.  Thus a defining aspect of couplehood is:

  • Connections at a primal wounds

Of course there are other aspects of couplehood:

  • Love
  • Sexuality
  • Children
  • Intimacy
  • A wedding ceremony
  • Significance
  • Familiarity
  • Shared memories
  • Commitment
  • Domestic life
  • Social reality & recognition

Some of these will apply and some may not.

The crucial aspect of couplehood is an uncanny reciprocity of pain. Hedy Schleifer refers to the “deepest desires meeting the darkest resistance, and vice versa.”  This can appear like a disconnect, but it is the relationship doing its purposeful work, a profound connection.

Psychodrama refers to ‘the interpyche’ with an interplay of co-conscious and co-unconscious ways of being. Evocative and useful words. Imago relationship therapy has the word ‘imago’, a word meaning image, referring to the match of the unconscious dynamics involving the unmet needs from childhood, mixed with the love that was there.

One word for it: trouble!

Who wants it? Who knows how to get through this impasse when one person’s deep desires meet the other person’s fears? And vice versa. It gets harder as regression seeps in and our usual adult functioning goes out the window. I’d rather look at facebook or go for a walk.

There is another side to the story, trouble means opportunity. The ‘interpsyche’ is not so stupid!  This mystical third entity wove a web for us to climb through impasses. They are not impossible passes, we can get through, with help. And once through we continue the adventure with new vigour.

For the therapist it is easy! “Wow, you two are here, facing this trouble! Well done. This is normal, this is healthy, this is natural and right and you can work through this. Talk and listen. Listen with great care! Talk without blame. I’ll help you do it.”

Its is not so easy when you are in it. Love is blind, and so is trouble. Have a look at this feast of quotes about love: 90 Beautiful Love Quotes from Literature I wish there were as many beautiful quotes about the purpose of trouble as there are about the glorious magic of love.

 

Categories
Psyber psychotherapy World

Ata: Journal of Psychotherapy Aotearoa New Zealand

 

This Journal has Just come out.  — Clipped the whole page here. Note the articles are online! I love that.  I’m  interested in the psyche and climate.

The cover by Nigel brown is great.

https://ojs.aut.ac.nz/ata/

clip follows:


Categories
Psyche psychotherapy Relationships

My deepest longing pushes against your most darkest resistance, and vice versa.

My deepest longing pushes against your most darkest resistance, and vice versa.

Hedy Schleifer 

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Featured Psyche Psychodrama psychotherapy Video

Psychodrama on TED talk with Jean Campbell

A simple, well structured, psychodrama.

This is a good example of how a psychodrama can be presented publicly.  Well prepared auxiliaries.

I thought this was well done.

Categories
Digital Sketches Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships

Spontaneity, Anxiety and the Moment — a passage from “Who Shall Survive?”

A passage from “Who Shall Survive?”

Categories
Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships

Talking & Listening

Categories
Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships

Interpersonal situation

 

At some point relationships become a “third entity”.

    • What is that point?
    • what is it’s social and cultural atom?
    • how can we concretise this 3rd?
    • how can it speak?

Moreno J.L. (1941) The Philosophy of the Moment and the Spontaneity Theatre. Sociometry May 1941 Vol 4 

 

Categories
Psyche Psychodrama psychotherapy Relationships Resources

Interpsyche – Moreno quote

Marriage and family therapy for instance, has to be so conducted that the “interpsyche” of the entire group is re-enacted so that all their tele-relations, their co-conscious and co-unconscious states are brought to life. Co-conscious and co-unconscious states are by definition such states which the partners have experienced and produced jointly and which can therefore be only jointly reproduced or re-enacted. A co-conscious or a co-unconscious state can not be the property of one individual only. It is always a common property and cannot be reproduced but by a combined effort. If a re-enactment of such co-conscious or co-unconscious state is desired or necessary, that re-enactment has to take place with the help of all partners involved in the episode. The logical method of such re-enactment a deux is psychodrama. However great a genius of perception one partner of the ensemble might have, he or she can not produce that episode alone because they have in common their co-conscious and co-unconscious states which are the matrix from which they drew their inspiration and knowledge.

(Moreno, 1977: vii)

Moreno, J. L. (1977). Psychodrama (Volume One, Fourth ed.) Beacon, New York.

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Psychodrama psychotherapy

The Power of Intimate Relationships — A One-Day Workshop, October 10, Christchurch.

 

The Power of Intimacy

A Couple Therapy Training Day
with Walter Logeman

Saturday, 10 October

This one day workshop is for people who work
with individuals and/or couples.

I’m pleased to announce this one day couple therapy training. The focus will be on engaging the couple.

Right from the start it is usually ONE person who makes contact. How to address that initial difference? There are so many ways and so many different scenarios.

This is where a sociodramatic approach comes into its own. The life in the group will bring forth the collective wisdom. Yes, we trust the power of intimacy in the group for learning about the power of intimacy in the couples we work with.

And what if you don’t see couples for some reason?
Counselling, if the matters raised include a partner, means it is relationship therapy. How to work with the power of love in that relationship?

There is a lesson in the relationship to learn, and one partner can transform a relationship. It’s better if they do that together.

Go here to see more and to enrol:  Psychodrama.org.nz

 

This one day workshop is a lead-in to Psychodramatic Couple Therapy Training
https://psychodrama.org.nz/couple-therapy-training/  the next four-day event is Wednesday 18 – Saturday 21 November 2020, you can enrol now.

Categories
Philosophy Poems Psyche psychotherapy

We are born into a pattern of relationships

We are born into a pattern of relationships.
This pattern influences us deeply.
It has a tendency to repeat and persist. 

This brief summary is the basis of psychotherapy, of the unconscious and we work with these patterns in psychodrama.  I’m  pleased with the crisp summation.  I’m  satisfied that it captures the relational nature of our being. The relationship nature of the unconscious, or self.  It is alive as this pattern “repeats and persists”.  And does so even as repair and grapple with the tendencies as they persist.

However the summation is not as soulful or as wild as the process.