Discernment Counseling with Rachel Zamore

https://pca.st/3bg66fcj

 

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Sometimes couples aren’t sure whether they are ready to work on their relationship or not. When this happens it isn’t appropriate to do traditional couples therapy until both partners buy in to the process of therapy. Rachel Zamore gives us a closer look at how to work with these mixed agenda couples using Discernment Counseling.

 

Discernment counselling is a crucial perspective on couple therapy. If a couple or one partner is ambivalent – it is so important not to leap into working on the relationship.

In my work each partner gets a summer of the individual session I had with the other.  Those summaries are reframed without blame and they facilitate a process of clarity.

Will they:

Agree to couple therapy for 6 months?
Separare?
Continue with the status quo?

“Between” should not vanish into a “within”.

Talking about Moreno’s approach, German sociologist Leopold Von Wiese, (1949) said:

“the realm of subjectivity is never given up by him. But the use of the word subjective here should not imply that Moreno is limited in his studies by a personal involvement; it is just the opposite. His aim is directed towards the most exact objectification of observations; but the object of these operations is the realm of the human psyche exclusively. This is so perhaps because he is a psychiatrist, a practical psychologist and physician. We too, in our “system of relations” do not neglect the psychological processes; but their penetration is one of several tasks so that we can recognize that realm of existence which. is crucial; the social one which lies between men and not within them. Particularly when one, as Moreno, like ourselves, emphasizes the significance of the little word “between” one should not permit it to vanish into a “within”.”

I like this as a formulation of the relational paradigm.

More on this theme from Von Wiese:Screen Shot 2020-06-13 at 6.49.13 PM

“When we try to reproduce here the chief content of Moreno’s work, we may best start With a statement from White’s foreword to it, one Which is also an axiom of our system of relations: “Social groups are not a sum of individuals but a sum of relations which exist between them”.

Which makes them complex beyond imagination.

 

Von Wiese, Leopold. (1949). “Sociometry.” Sociometry, Vol. 12, No. 1/3 (Feb. — Aug, 1949), pp. 202—214 Published by: American Sociological Association https://www.jstor.org/stable/2785387

Modern Love (TV)

Watched the first two episodes of Modern Love (Prime) — very good! ★★★★★

I am prone to finding this genre “vapid, nauseating” as the Guardian called it — but not so far in this series.

modernlove

Discovered the director is John Carney the director of another romance drama Once — I loved that one too.

Once (2006 film)poster.jpg

 

 

Personal Update May 24 2020

I don’t say much in this blog about my life or family. Its a Journal of ideas. For better or worse. I don’t really know. I’ve had a phew phases in my life… this blog is about the ideas during my initial enthusiasm for the Internet. Then psychodrama and psychotherapy. Jung. Politics. All ideas. But a new phase is looming. I can’t write about anything new unless I become a bit more personal. I’m 10 weeks post op bypass surgery. I’m 75.  Last year I stopped seeing clients. That was a big step! The focus early 2020 was on supervision and training. Here are Health Update emails in the order I sent them:

Saturday 7 March 2020

It seems that is the only one I wrote!  I’ll do another …

Saturday 23 May 2020

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Writing

I have not finished with this blog. I don’t know what I’ll be doing from here on, but one thing is writing. One motivation for changing to WordPress.com is that I can’t maintain the vagaries of managing a server anymore.  But that is not all. I could just delete the whole thing! I don’t want to do that.  For one I think the whole saga from the 1990s on is interesting, for me and maybe others, family even? This blog is source to writing I have completed. It is a scrapbook for writing to come, and I have a few projects on the go.

Arthur Miller: Writer — Movie

Arthur Miller: Writer

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Bought this movie made by his daughter Rebecca Miller on Google Play and it worked on Chrome (not Safari) on the Mac, plugged into the TV.

Worth doing! The film about this man’s life is inspiring and moving. It had a big impact on me.

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We have been watching movies written and directed by his daughter Rebecca Miller and they are great. Full of life, intense, psychodramatic. Leaves us with lots to discuss.

Rebecca Miller movies

Rebecca Miller directed Angela and Personal Velocity: Three Portraits.
Personal Velocity: Three P…
Rebecca Miller directed Angela and Maggie's Plan.
Maggie’s Plan
Rebecca Miller directed Angela and The Ballad of Jack and Rose.
The Ballad of Jack and…
Rebecca Miller directed Angela and The Private Lives of Pippa Lee.
The Private Lives of…

Changes to this weblog – Notes for myself

 

Thursday, 09 September 2021

I’ve been doing a lot.  Settling the blog into its old home at https://psyberspace.walterlogeman.com

Today tried creating yet another full width template from here: https://gist.github.com/Netzberufler/792a74d63f24aadcad444f4c9d415c11

worked fine but I don’t need that. It was only for Pags and Default works fine.

Added a todo tag. On thing is to create a child theme. I’d hate it all to go to custard with a theme update.


21 May, 2020

This website url is now http://www.psyberspace.wordpress.com, just as it was about 20 years ago, before I began self hosting.  Hope everything works. (To hell with a custom domain!)

New Walter Logeman page: http://walterlogeman.co.nz

New home for Thousand Sketches: http://thousandsketches.com

It has been a lockdown project to close my Dreamhost server. It has served me well but it took management — that I have hopefully outsourced to WordPress.com

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More to do:

My email and some other people’s who have been on my Dreamhost.

Kate’s website & email.  http://katetapley.co.nz (coming)

My old Psybernet site??

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I think I’ll be happier to do more blogging — It has been hard with a site that came up with Viagra ads etc.