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Summary of Norms and Guidelines for Communologue for Communologue

Summary of Norms and Guidelines
for Communologue

1. Everyone is mirrored. This slows sharing down but develops a sense of each speaker feeling safe and being fully heard.

2. Anyone can volunteer to mirror. If no one else wishes to mirror the speaker, the facilitator(s) will do it. We suggest that if a person wants to “respond” to what has been said, they not be the one to mirror the speaker to whom they wish to “respond.”

3. Have an attitude of pre-validation.* In other words, assume that all persons “make sense” and are valid before they speak. Listeners seek to understand the “sense” that speakers are making and are trying to express.

4. The group holds the “space of validity” for all members and encourages the sharing of different points of view.

5. Avoid MasterTalk* – in other words avoid sentences that imply that only one point of view is correct. If Master Talk statements are made, “Boundary insertions” may be used to return the tone to one of sharing.

· “This is a fact” is politely mirrored, “So you believe…”
· “This is what happened” becomes “So you remember…
· “You are wrong” becomes “So you think differently. You think…”
· “I think I speak for everyone here” is met with a polite request to just state what is true for him or her.

6. Value silence skillfully. Powerful points are often followed by silence. Silence doesn’t have to be filled right away. Listen for the emerging wisdom of the group.

7. Silence, on the other hand, can be a signal that talk is going underground. If this is perceived, a facilitator may invite and encourage sharing.

8. Facilitators and group members encourage all points of view and honor real differences.

9. Work to shift the tone from “conflict” to “sharing”. Saying you want to make an “addition” can be a powerful alternative to debating and win/lose thinking.

10. Encourage a sense of seeing a larger picture by valuing each person’s contribution to the group consciousness.

11. Learn to enjoy hearing and sharing even ideas you don’t particularly like. Learn to hold the tension of differences and grow the communologue space.

12. Senders should make relatively short sends; paying attention to the needs of other’s to share the time available.

13. It is believed helpful for senders to stay with one subject per send.

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MASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay | Al Turtle’s Relationship Wisdom

I’m studying up on master talk. Here is a link to Al’s main essay. There is also a link there to an MP3 which I bought.

MASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay | Al Turtle’s Relationship Wisdom

Certain words can clue you into MasterTalk:

‘is’ , ‘know’, ‘the fact that’, ‘reality’, ‘we’ or ‘you.’”

I am trying to get the idea, these little lists help a lot.

The way out, Friend/friend talk, includes phrases such as

  • I think
  • In my experience
  • I believe
  • The way I understand it is..

The are I statements about information – cognitive I statements.

I like Al’s definition:

NewImage

Note this is not a relativist position. There may well be one truth. But each of us has our own experience, leading us to our own conclusions and beliefs.

 

❋

 

Sunday, 01 August 2021 — downloaded from Al’s website, to add a bit of redundancy to its survival.

 

Al Turtle’s Relationship Wisdom :: MASTER/SLAVE, Two World Problem: The Essay

 

MASTERSLAVE

 

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Metaphor

My posting about skeuomorphism in the last post, and earlier this year, is not just because I’m an Apple user (I won’t say fan). It iOS because it is related to my long interest in metaphor. (You can see all my posts with this tag by clicking the Metaphor tag at the bottom of this post).

What I liked about the article in the previous post is that it makes a distinction between skeuomorphism that assists usability, when it assisted in the early days. and now when it might even obscure things.

The the tricky thing that a purist would face if they were to avoid skeuomorphism altogether is that it is impossible. Online it is ALL metaphor, all abstraction.

Buttons
Folders
Views
Posts
Commands
Pages
Desktops

There is very little if anything that is native to the digital world. Digits, for example.

This principle applies even to abstractions in ordinary language:

Root
Tree
Sea

These words can all go well beyond their literal meaning.

This is of interest as it has deep implications for psychological work.

The psyche, like cyberspace is immaterial and we use metaphors from the material world to talk about the invisible

What touched you?
have a heart.

The psyche is not the body. We use metaphase from the body to describe it.

The current wave of bring research is fascinating but it is not related to the psyche, there is a huge category mistake being foisted upon the psychotherapy world.

The question is of interest too in relation to creativity

We use brushes in digital art programs, and they can use watercolour or oils. Where is the native digital form? (there are some!) Light is used to create ‘depth’ backup creating fake shadows. The glossy icons apple uses are created using fake shine. (Will Jony Ives remove that?)

While we have electronic music it is mostly through skeuomorphic instruments that we create it.

Always, no sometimes, think it’s me, but you know I know when it’s a dream.
I think I know I mean a ‘Yes’ but it’s all wrong, that is I think I disagree.
Let me take you down, ‘cos I’m going to Strawberry Fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
Strawberry Fields forever.
Strawberry Fields forever.

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