Noticing “afliction under the addiction”

It is interesting how in a day of sessions a theme will recur from one session to another. One could say that it is because of me – I am the common factor in all the days sessions after all. I am entertaining the idea that it is not “me”, at least not my usual day world self. Though just how I am not sure.

A recent theme was the simple exploration of what sheltered under the exterior presentation of an unwanted habit. Each exploration followed a similar path:

Lets take the habit of speeding… what is under that? A bit of a thrill, a surge of adrenalin. Where would you really like to have thrills and adrenalin? … In my relationship.

The habit of brooding and not acting… what is under that? Fear of not being able to achieve. What would you like to achieve? A good relationship.

The habit of getting into arguments… what is under that? Relieves boredom, gets attention. What would not be boring, what sort of attention do you really want? A good relationship.

These three hypothetical situations illustrate the essence of the theme, it continued all that day. Now why would it do that? It is as if once Eros enters the room he does not leave.

Desire for love and attention is a powerful force! The addictions work very briefly and then make things worse. However, they point to what is needed. The psyche is pushing for something, but trapped. The instant gratification needs to be suspended to actually heal the underlying wound. The “attention seeking” is not totally silly, loving caring attention to an inner child is on the agenda, on top of the list!

Noticing the real need hidden under the craving heals. Noticing a lost child heals. Awareness helps. Awareness is love. There is no awareness without attention. Attention is love. In that very moment the sought attention is achieved. Consciousness of the process that overrides the old pain is all that is needed to sustain the repair of the soul.

The psychnote tag collects posts with reflections about the psychotherapy I practice.

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